WITH the imminent threat of biological war, we in Rawson are doing our best to prepare. A quick survey of our kitchen has found an arsenal of biological weapons that not even Sadam can match. These weapons haven't been created through highly secret research, or by major funding through Swiss bank accounts. These weapons are the product of nothing more than neglect.   HERE'S what I found today:
· Bottle of wine, ¼ full, cork left off since last day of autumn term
· Bag of oranges, 2 left, one shrivelled and orange, the other fluffy green, display until 08oct2002
· Bag of Hovis bread, end tied in knot, feels like 2 slices left, rock hard, no display until date
· 1 tomato left on windowsill, starting to go puffy
· 1 large gherkin left on windowsill, starting to shrivel
· Small lump of Double Gloucester, covered in blue/green patches
· And finally 3 bags of potatoes distributed around the kitchen.   DISPLAY dates of 26nov02, 12oct02 and 08oct02
I have catalogued each of these glorious discoveries, and will soon enter them into the Rawson Rotten Food Awards, soon to be launched on my website!
  SOMETHING I've often wondered, and as I don't drink I doubt I'll ever really understand it, is what's so exciting about trolleys when people are drunk? During the day people just look at trolleys, put kids in them, wheel around supermarkets, and dump them in rivers. But come the night and the humble trolley turns into the most magical object of transportation. People climb in these fragile metallic structures and then demand to be pushed, when quite obviously to anyone that isn't drunk - It'll all end in tears!
  SADLY most of the time it doesn't, and even if the trolley hits something and throws the person out, they are usually so drunk that they think that is really funny… so they do it again!! In fact its probably a good thing I don't drink, as I'd have to try this trolley riding to experience for myself… get thrown off… think its really funny… and do it again!

  OVER the Christmas period the residents of Rawson 2 decided to cut letters out of coloured A4 paper to form the phrase Happy Xmas Rawson 2 above our sink. Now, this looked pretty good, until the end of the festivities when the more imaginative amongst us decided it would be a bit of a waste to throw away the letters after all that effort. So, inevitably for student minds, we set to work trying to find rude words within the jumble of letters. The lack of vowels other than a and one o somewhat hampered the attempts, and about the worst word we initially came up with was poxy (MS Word doesn't seem to like that word - does it really exist?). Luckily, other housemates were more successful, and we've spent the past month washing up underneath the slogan Sam has Porn!
  THIS past weekend I seem to have lost a significant amount of my enthusiasm for life after spending about 48 hours in bed (or the toilet) with a very dodgy stomach after the Music Department Ball on Friday night. After slight worries that it could have been alcohol induced (though I really didn't drink that much) I was comforted, in some weird way, when I found out that around 15 others from my course had also been struck down by an identical affliction on the very same day. One person commented that going by the incestuous nature of the music department it could be just a stomach bug, and all those who were ill could probably be linked in some way - but even musos don't get around that much… do they?
  FINALLY... a tip on spending next to nothing in the Union - buy lollypops! Recently my friend Pete and I have discovered the cheapest nights out in the Union ever: don't buy rounds of drinks, buy rounds of lollies. Never before have I spent under £1 on a Union night out. We've been having competitions as to who can make theirs last the longest - I currently hold the record of an hour and half - anyone fancy challenging me to a contest?!